THE BUS IS LATE, TYPICAL, NOW THAT I'M GOING TO MCDONALD'S

I don't want to be seen taking public transport.

I'll rather walk...

This is taking longer than I imagined.

It that a farm? I don't have time to watch things grow!

Maybe I can hitchhike with an airplane.

This mountain wall is too steep.

It needs flattening out. 

I hurt my finger, I need an air ambulance, maybe they can drop me off at McDonald's after surgery. 

Those assholes didn't come. Just wait until I get in touch with my lawyers.

 Walking downhill takes time. I've always thought base jumpers where tough, now I realise they're just lazy.

There's the road again. Let's highjack the first car and get a burger!

IT'S TIME TO CLEAN UP MY ACT

I have to.

Otherwise, I'll never find my car keys.

When will I learn to bring a spare car?!

Or a spare submarine?!

There it is.

The place I've been searching for.

My childhood home.

Nobody will find my goldbars here. 

If they do. I've hidden 400 landmines in the area.

I HAVE NEVER USED A TOOL IN MY LIFE

What is this? Rubik's cube or something?

I need help.

Lets see if I can find someone who knows how to operate this Rubik's cube.

I've bought a stolen painting, I need to find someone who can help me hang it up on the wall.

 Someone smart enough to do the job, but not smart enough to call the police.

I think I've found her, the Mayor.

Unfortunately she's busy opening an art exhibition. What a coincident... 

I got to come up with something else real slow, otherwise I'll screw it up.

I wish I knew how they solved situations like this during the war.

Time is running out, what if I turned in the painting and bought whatever museum they hang it in. 

Or I could build one.

With a fast food restaurant on top of it. Best of both worlds.

I've learned one lesson today: don't underestimate where manual labour can take you.

To the top of the world, baby. To the top of the world...

No orangutans where hurt in this blog post, but it's not because I didn't try. I did! But there where no orangutans around, so I had to settle for humans...

6 humans where hurt during the making of this blog post, some severe, some not, but they where all from far away, too far to complain.  

WHY CAN'T WE JUST BE ENEMIES?

Hey, we all have said and done things we regret.

Like running away from a car accident and hiding. 

Or the time I got caught in my best friends wedding.

And had to explain why there was a horse involved.

In hindsight I think it would have been better to be enemies.

And ask for forgiveness in a shopping centre.

It's all just hate and greed and grand delusion anyway. It's no big deal.

Some people take the stairs to the rooftop.

Some people take a helicopter.

 I take my Land Rover. 

We're all the same on the inside. We want to get to the top. The only thing that separates us is the outside. I'm filthy rich and you're not. But looks don't count, right?! So let's continue to be unfriendly with each other, cause I'm not going to share anytime soon.

I HAVE FINALLY FOUND UNBALANCE IN MY LIFE

I make more money than most, therefor I spend ridiculous amounts to break even.

To keep up to speed I sometimes dump cash straight into the river.

Life can be hard.

Not if you walk away.

Drammen is a great town.

I love to go cave diving there. 

And cage fighting.

Drammen is a great place to quit smoking.

It's also a great place to get in trouble. 

Or sell stuff you can't sell in ordinary shops.

And get rich if your good at it. 

Unless you got second thoughts. 

I don't have the ability to have two opposite ideas in my head simultaneously and still function. 

Thats why I sell out in time.

So I can watch others take the blame.

While I celebrate like the king of Drammen.

Before I pop up somewhere else.